Correct Forms of Address

Writers often get confused when trying to apply the correct forms of address in their stories. It is a complex subject and can vary depending upon whether or not a person holds a title, was single, married or widowed, or if a child was older or younger. Correct forms of address were also different in speech versus in writing. This post is a brief explanation about the correct forms of address in speech.

First Names

In Britain, before the twentieth century, parents typically used a child's first name, although a mother might use her eldest son's title when addressing him. So, for example, a son who was the Earl of Bayview might be called Lord Bayview or Lord or merely Bayview by his mother. Unless a child had received his peerage, children who grew up together in a boarding school usually referred to each other by their first name and continued to do so the remainder of their lives. In some cases a diminutive form was used. An example is if a child was named Jonathan Wilmington his classmates might call him Jon or Jonny, but if Jonathan Wilmington had a title, such as Earl of Porterham, he would be called Lord Porterham or by his familiars Port or Porter.

Intimacy or familiarity between men was usually shown by calling each by their title or a diminutive form. For example, the diminutive for the Earl of Bottingham might be Bott. Women, even in private, often called their husbands by their title alone. For instance, a woman married to the Earl of Chattsford would call him Chattsford. In the company of others a husband and wife would refer to one another as my lord or my lady or some diminutive form.

Mr. With and Without Christian Names

The eldest son of a Viscount, Baron, or commoner who had no peerage was designated in speech by the use of Mr. added to his first name, and any younger brothers were referred to solely by their first names. So, for example, if the Baron of Paddington had four sons—William, George, Robert, and Markham—and their last name was Smythe,  the eldest son William would be called Mr. Smythe and his brothers referred to by their Christian names, George, Robert, and Markham, without the Mr. attached. The men's wives would adopt the same usage. So, for example, William's wife would be called Mrs. Smythe, George's wife would be referred to as Mrs. George Smythe, Robert's wife as Mrs. Robert Smythe, and so on.

Miss and Mrs. With and Without Christian Names

When there were several daughters, the eldest one always had Miss attached to her name and the younger daughters were referred to by both their Christian and Surname. So, for example if there were four daughters—Susan, Julie, Beverly, and Pamela—whose father was Harold Worthington, Baron of Carteret, and his eldest daughter was Susan, the women would be referred to as Miss Susan, Miss Julie Worthington, Miss Beverly Worthington, and so forth. Collectively there would be called the Misses Worthington. However, if Susan and Pamela were alone, they would be addressed as Miss Worthington and Miss Pamela, and if Pamela were alone she would be addressed as Miss Worthington.

The

The word "the" was used when addressing peers or the family members of peers. Baronets, knights, and commoners were not given the designation. So, a wife a baronet whose name was Millicent Chattsford would be called Lady Chattsford and never The Lady Chattsford. But the wife of the Earl of Fillmore would be referred to as The Lady Fillmore.

If you are interested in a fuller description of the correct forms of addresses, click here, and for more information about forms of addresses, titles, and peerage in the 18th and 19th century click here.